Morbidly Obese Tuesday

I need a shower, perhaps a flea dip. Today I felt compelled to do something that made my stomach churn and nostrils cringe. If I believed in a capricious and vengeful God, I would be on my knees at the nearest church or synagogue. However, somebody has to take a hit for Team Liberty. That someone is me.

In today's primary, I voted for the Hildebeast.

I received scorn from both my leftist moonbat and conservative friends. First with the moonbats.

Since Obama is the new media darling, therefore the only qualification needed to become leader of the free world, or what remains of it, I should have cast my vote for him. I think Obama will do more than fine without my support. Myrmidons they are, many on the left have seemed to have lost their love and admiration for Hilly, with the exception of the female college student, The Vagina Monologues crowd (who wants her canonized), and people who want to have the State of the Union Address screeched to them (the 'gimme geezers').

My right-wing friends think I am a Benedict Arnold. Apparently I am supposed to always vote Republican, even if the only candidate is Torquemada (actually, if Torq were an evangelical, they would probably vote for him too. Gary Bauer comes to mind). I constantly have to remind some of them that I am not a Republican, but a Libertarian. This is sometimes met with the brilliant, persuasive strategy of "Libertarians are stupid (meaning your's truly, obviously). Vote for us" (wait, you just called me "stupid". Why should I vote with you guys? Furthermore, do you really want people considered "stupid" in agreement with you?).

I live in Alabamastan. People are not to easily convinced by logic and fact 'round these parts, but get out a Bible or throw out some new social program, they go to the polls. The usual suspects are captured by each respectively. In general elections since Jimmy Carter, Republicans have always carried this ignoramus state's electral votes with no problem. Consider that this, after all, is only the primary. Furthermore, I don't see a dime's worth of difference between the GOP candidates. In November I will vote for whichever GOP candidate they throw up there, even if I have to shower again (hopefully I will have bathed at least a dozen times between now and then, otherwise people might confuse me with the French).

Obama scares the living shit outta me. Aside from his lack of experience and questionable heaping buttload of campaign contributions that just recently came in, he is a Marxist (read his autobiography, and take plenty of Pepto Bismol before doing so). He is also a "former" Muslim. Last I checked, a good many Muslims want to either take over the West or destroy it entirely. Once a Muslim, always a Muslim. The overwhelming majority of the black vote in this state is going to Obama for no other reason than he is half-black. So, by holding my nose and voting for the Hildebeast, and hopefully others are doing the same, we can keep this Trojan Horse from Mecca away from the Oval Office. Furthermore, Hildebeast is vulnerable to defeat while I am not so sure about Obama. Even if Hilly does win, within two years the house and senate will be so overwhelmed with Republicans she will cry on a daily basis; not just for camera crews at politically opportune moments.

So with that unpleasantry out of the way, I can now return to work.