Friday, February 29, 2008

Allahu AkBarbeque!

"Many of the Jews who owned the homes, the apartments in the black community, we considered them bloodsuckers because they took from our community and built their community but didn't offer anything back to our community." - Louis Farrakhan

Dammit! In the midst of everything I forgot it was Muslim Menu Day. Allah forgive me.

Well, enough with Calypso Louis. Obama-rama-lama-ding-dong is more popular than indoor plumbing now, therefore he can tell him to take his support and cram it. Warning to Obama, Nation of Islam HAS done some nasty things in the past, Malcolm X would tell you were he still alive.

Anyway. On BBQ sauce. Hands down, no contest : Stubbs is the most riteous there is. Mohammed himself would give even the most devout Muslim a pork indulgence here. Visit their site. Should be available everywhere. Now go grab your pig and put on some really good, Texas Roadhouse Blues.

Rib Bone Appetit

Che Chic or Sheer Stupidity?

“Force and mind are opposites; morality ends where a gun begins.” - Ayn Rand

My audience, all three of you, must be overwhelmed with anticipation by now. My research, consisting of (they better start paying me, or else),, a few blog readings, and a trip to a Books-A-Million store, is complete. I am well aware this does not qualify for an advanced degree - this is a godam blog, so there. Over the past few years, a particular image has become quite common in this country. Somehow, a dangerous and brutal, political thug of the last century has become a pop-culture (dumb masses) icon. Apparently, most people have no idea what the man stood for, and the horrors he inflicted to achieve his goals. That doesn't matter, because he is "hip", and "hipness" trumps actual historical fact. So without further adieu, I present:

Handsome fellow? Yes. Striking pose? Indeed. Revolutionary, self-sacrificing idealist or opportunistic, sociopathic thug? Depends on the authors of the following books.

1. Che: A Revolutionary Life : John Lee Anderson

John Lee Anderson thinks that Che's poop never stunk, and he might have been the second coming of Jesus H. Christ. Although having visited Cuba and Russia for his research, he fails to mention that at least he had the chance to come and go as he pleased, unlike the people who actually live there. Furthermore, since he largely agrees with all things Che, he knew it very unlikely that he would be either imprisoned or shot on sight. He also made a nice little profit (Oh, Gaia! Not PROFIT!) from his work. Anderson is the type of socialist with the opinion on wealth - "O.K. for me, but not for thee." However, to understand the mental workings of a true Che sycophant, this is worth a flipping through. Just don't buy it - since true socialists loathe the idea of making more money than somebody else, it would be rude.

The next author wishes Che were still alive so he could shove not just one banana, but the entire bunch up his ass. He makes some good points, but methinks he stretches the truth a bit. I have doubts about Che having a favorite past time of shooting dogs, which he mentions. As with the above author, you have to weed through a lot of B.S. with Mr. Fontova. At times he is inconsistent. In one chapter you read about what a powerful, influential and evil mastermind Guevara was behind el Revolucion, then in the very next entry, Che is nothing more than a foolish dupe; a tool in the designs of Fidel and Raoul. Reminds me of the quandry liberals are always in when trying to describe George W. Bush. Anyway, he was sent to Bolivia because it meant almost certain death when he was no longer of use. Sounds modus operandi for the brothers Castro. However, some of the events under the direction of Che - mass executions, kangaroo trials, and overall brutality are well documented.

Book three is very short and I got to read most of it. Mr. Llosa takes a more objective look at Che and particularly the consequences of his philosophies and actions. Too short actually. It turns out that Che's image as "man of the people" was merely a ruse (as most often is), and merely wanted to replace Batista's thugs with his own. You can probably read it in less than an hour at the bookstore.

Against All Hope is what became of Cuba after the gang of three. This poor fellow spent decades in a work prison for saying things El Presidente apparently did not like. Despite its religious overtones, this is probably the best one to get. Che Guevara has been dead for four decades, but people still suffer from his actions. Michael Moore apparently never met this man, and I think he would probably decline any invitation to do so. Despite Cuba's fantastic, sooper-dooper, "free" healthcare system (as long as you belong to the Communist Party - otherwise you are rather screwed), this man will show the Cuba that people such as Micheal Moore, Jimmah Cahtuh, and a laundry list of rock stars and Hollywood Dimwits Emeriti DO NOT want you to see. Of all the books, I recommend this one.

Now, to my point (yes, there is a point here): What is up with all these idiot kids and Hollyweird types going about sporting all things Che? There are even some brain surgeons out there getting tattoos of this butthole. I just Googled "Che shirt" and everybody is cashing in on this - hundreds of online stores alone selling posters and every garment imaginable of this murderer. This is not without irony. Since Che was a self-professed Communist, just how does profiting off his image make any modicum of sense or consistency of thought? Well, people are rallying around Obama and his message of "change." Change to what? Agrarian-based, economic feudalism? Enquiring minds, the few remaining, want to know.

I have an idea. Actually a friend's idea, but he doesn't blog so I am claiming it. Print up posters and tee shirts of Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Kim Jong Mentally Ill, Manuel Noriega, Saddam Hussein, Achmed Iamadinersalad, and a host of other "heroes" and sell them. If these people think Che is "cool", I bet they can't wait to get their hands on this merchandise.

"Useful Idiots" - never has there been a more applicable term for the mindless crop of today. I hope I am dead by the time they get what they are literally begging for.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Research Time

"No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby." - H.L. Mencken

I got so fascinated preparing for today's blog, I found so many interesting things about a rather ordinary person-cum-popular icon among today's ill-informed, yet passionate youth, that I am only halfway ready to write it. They know absolutely NOTHING about this character, for if they did, they would see him for what he was - a tyrant with dictatorial ambitions that were cut short by an "untimely" death. But his image looks "cool" and makes lots of capital for anyone who puts it on a poster or a tee shirt. Hmm, practicing capitalism via the image of a man who despised it? Mencken was dead on. Hint: The guy rode a motorcycle.

See you tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Bill Buckley

“I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.” - William F. Buckley, Jr.

Took down the previous post. It turned into a rant, rather than an apt memoriam to a brilliant man and great author. I can rant any day of the week, and unless the sun rises in the west, will continue tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

This Year's Model

"I'm the new, I'm the new, new model - I got nothin' inside." - Marilyn Manson

While the rest of the country is bothered with the petty semantics of whether or not Der Hildebeast sent out marching orders to her brownshirts to release the "offensive" (or were they "insensitive"? Hell I can't keep up with all the proper applications of P.C. speech anymore) pictures of Obama in a turban, what increasingly captivates my interest is the fragile loyalty of the fourth estate and their vapid audience. It becomes increasingly transparent by the hour. This campaign year more closely resembles American Idol than anything I can compare it to. The fracas over the photographs of the Illinois Senator is nothing more than a pyrrhic victory for the right wing pundits who obviously fail to realize that while Hillary is detestable, Obama (unless somebody comes up with a picture of him with a live boy or a dead girl) is unbeatable.

I am no conspiracy theorist and the only things I can tell you for sure about a grassy knoll or a book depository is that they are somewhere in Dallas. This would be earth-shattering news, but I think for the first time in her political career, Hillary might be telling the truth. Each candidate's campaign manager has researched (and when possible, destroyed) ever last yearbook or driver's license photo for ANY possible perceived impropriety. With the Clintons no longer being the media darlings of halcyon days past, the "American Evita" is particularly vulnerable to the political trash heap in the absence of support from her former best friends in the fourth estate. It would make for good political tactics in Camp Obamastan to drop this latest bomb, then blame it on the Hildebeast. Not unlike some college campus incidents in recent years when women and minority students and faculty were vandalizing public and private property with sexist and ethnic slurs, then crying "foul!", demanding something be done about it. Something did get done: They got caught. If this is the case, the media will play Obama's game, not Hillary's.

Let us explore the uproar for a moment. To the casual observer, it is just a man in traditional Somali dress doing, well, nothing. The man is actually of Somali lineage and was in, hold on to your magic carpet, Somalia! At the very moment the photo was shot! One can assume he is just observing the local customs of his family (when in Rome...) with pride and respect. Ted Kennedy observes the customs of the old country apparently quite often. Although I am not sure which specific clan in Ireland has the custom of drowning their dates. To people who operate on the basis of logic, there is nothing wrong with this photograph.

Now, let's change dimensions of reality into the leftist, politically correct instrument which substitutes for a mind. This is a horrible, racist and culturalist picture that is hateful and mean-spirited. Why? Because it portrays Barack Hussein Obama as a Muslim. "Hold on a minute," you say, "I thought we are supposed to like Muslims, so, shouldn't this be a positive portrayal?" Well, er, uh, yes, but people who are not as intelligent and sophisticated as we may misinterpret it and get a negative image of the candidate. "Wait a minute, you actually WANT the support of unsophisticated, stupid people?" ITS ALL GEORGE BUSH'S FAULT THAT THEY LACK THE NECESSARY TOOLS TO GET AHEAD IN THIS WORLD BECAUSE OF TAX CUTS FOR THE RICH AND YOU'RE JUST A NAZI NEOCON! blah, blah, and so on. There you have a pretty good schematic of the liberal argument. Sounds as though they are having an arm wrestling match with their own other arm, and losing badly.

Back to Hillary's fall from most-favored-sociopath status and Obama's eclipsing of Elvis. This combined with the current state of education and intellect in this country is downright scary. If Al Gore can somehow link "global warming" to decline in average I.Q. and attention span, I will start driving a Prius. I think this started with the phenomenon of MTV. Music videos are seldom longer than three minutes. I thought the reason was that most "artists" could not come up with a tune, let alone lyrics, complex enough to capture the interest of a viewer for any longer than that. Then MTV declined into game shows that lasted all of a month (Remote Control has the record for six weeks airtime) before "focus groups" (I use that term liberally) decided what was going to be tomorrow's garbage. A full year later, most people who watched MTV forgot what a music video was, and furthermore did not care. We are undeniably now a society of little substance but fascination with novelty. Two years ago, Taylor Hicks was all the rage on American Idol. I live in this guy's home city and even I have no clue what he is doing today. Maybe neither does he.

That's Obama in a nutshell - the American Idol candidate. Hillary will just have to go the way of the music video.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Homework Time

We must do our duty and convince the world that we are just friends and brave enemies” - Thomas Jefferson

The good folks at Amazon had no trouble finding a copy of The Communist Manifesto, but are having difficulty locating H.L. Mencken's Chrestomathy. Have you ever gone to "customer service" at a bookstore, and asked the enlightened, leftist seer of the Temple of Delphi to find a conservative or libertarian title? If you haven't, please do so. You will be given a look as though you arrived via a watermelon truck with duct tape on the tailgate. The mere fact that you are literate will astound and amaze them. If you really want to arouse suspicion, and possibly get reported to, ask for an ultra-left title along with something by Michelle Malkin. I suspect they have a little red button underneath the counter that is a hotline to the politburo of political correctness.

I lived in Grand Cayman for a while (complete culture shock, so much that several future blog entries will be devoted to it) and walked in a bookstore to browse around. I am not really much of an Ann Coulter fan, but flipping through her book Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right (by the way, check out the objective, well informed, ad-hominem "reviews" by people who have obviously not read the book), I had a few chuckles and decided to purchase it. The woman at the counter, who was not a native Caymanian but more likely part of the Canadian invasion of the island, was the store owner. With no invitation on my part, she opined that she would hate the book, and proceeded to lecture me on her inside information on the Iraq war. After she was done screeching, I said "I'm sorry you hate this book so much; so sorry that I am no longer interested in purchasing it from this store. And the last thing I wish to do is to burden you with this bothersome cash." I walked out and went to another bookstore. This time without a political lecture.

Anyway, I digress. I bought the Manifesto not to change my political views, but to get a better understanding of the leftist mind. It is not a large volume; about fifty pages in interestingly large print. It is larger than a pamphlet, but I think it more likened to a restaurant menu than an actual book. What first amazed me was that some work, so small, contained an ideology that resulted in tens if not hundreds of million dead and even more living in bondage and fear for the better part of the last century. Cuba and North Korea have yet to escape it, and Hugo Chavez seems to be an ardent fan.

Now, being the poster child for Attention Deficit Disorder, I found an interesting snippet from the Communist News Network regarding the cognac gargling gargoyle and his nuclear program. To save you the trouble, I can sum it up as follows:

1. North Korea has a nuclear plant at Yongbyon.

2. They are tearing it down.

3. They have decided to slow down the dismantling because of......

4. Nasty Americans who are not giving them enough fuel oil, still have them classified as bad guys, and a laundry list of other grievances.

5. CNN doesn't think the the NK's are as bad as mean old W painted them. CNN also thinks the NK's are telling the truth.

6. CNN is actually naive enough to think this is the sum and total of the North Korean nuclear program, and Kim Jong Mentally Ill is cooler than Gorbachev's Perestroika.

7. The New York Philharmonic is coming to visit.

Just how (and why) the United States is supposed to take care of North Korea's every need, else risk a nuclear attack, is well, beyond logic. This is similar to the street thug promising not to shoot you as long as you hand over your wallet. No mention of where China stands in all this, having a long career as the sugar daddy for these whackjobs. If North Korea, no, the United States had any sense, it would be explained to them in no uncertain terms, that give up your nuclear ambitions COMPLETELY, or not only will you be hungry and cold, you will also glow in the dark. The track record over the last several years clearly shows that the NKs have no intention whatsoever of keeping their end of ANY diplomatic agreement. Why should we think something has miraculously changed, and important proof of this is that a Western symphony has been invited to Pyongyang to please the "Dear Leader"?

Well, enough for to day. Have to read about "worker's paradise" and the ultra-evil bourgeois, which I strive everyday to be. Moreover, I wan't to find out what makes communism so wonderful that nations that subscribe to this philosophy have their borders lined with concertina wire, guard dogs and land mines. Not to keep invaders out, but to keep their own people in.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Handle These Snakes

"Democracy, too, is a religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses." - H. L. Mencken

I could quote that guy everyday, and never have a loss of appropriate words.

O.K. It's Snake Handlin' Sunday again. We are sure to get around to grabbin' some serpents. But first, look at this. Now, for those in medical school, chalk this up for advanced placement in your third-year psychiatric rotation. Perhaps some Haldol in the alcohol-free communion wine could help with such inconveniences on Sunday. For those of you in the job market, hold your tongues during the interview if you want that job.

Now for snakes in general. I had a roommate and fraternity brother in college who owned a six-foot python. To call this animal a "pet" is a very liberal stretch of the term. Pets usually offer companionship, entertainment and in some cases, protection. This snake offered none of the above. Other than a mere shock reaction by those who fear snakes, Mr. Charlie (as if he even knew his own name, or if it was a "he" at all), had nothing in these arenas. Look at snake, snake looks at nothing. Pick up snake, snake does nothing. Yell at snake, snake ignores you. About the only five, short minutes of action we got from this lumbering hulk was feeding time. Some poor rat had to be sacrificed for this, and that was the five minutes of excitement until about six weeks later (I think the theory that snakes have slow digestive systems is a myth - they are constipated). The roommate (remaining anonymous) ended up in some rather nefarious legal troubles, found someone stupid enough to buy the snake, and paid off his court costs and attorney fees. Done deal - end of snake.

Now, for some real snake handling, try picking a fight with one of these characters. It took five strong men, and they were not speaking in tongues - they were speaking Spanish, and I think a few bits of foul language were thrown in. Here is a big snake in action. A rattler might bite you, and it might be painful, but a trip to the E.R. with some antivenin will keep you alive. If the snakes posessed neurotoxins, a bite on most people who engage in such behaviors would be benign. Perhaps they should handle coral snakes. The constrictors, however, will EAT YOU! I cannot imagine the Wednesday night revival at Mount Bethel Reformed Church of Jayeezus responding to a suspicious disappearance every time they bring out the snake. How do you put that in the weekly bulletin? "Sister Desdemona Hazel Gertrude Bumpkin taken by Holy Rapture at Wednesday night revival. Snake mysteriously relaxed. Hallelujah!"

Meanwhile - "Ab yiddy yab a boogabooga yip a dip simbata boloolooloo - arrrrrggh! A snake!"

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Panic in Detroit

"Panic in Detroit. I asked for an autograph. I wanted to stay home. I wish someone would phone." - David Bowie

Whatever. I am just glad I don't live in Detroit. Birmingham is bad enough.

Friday, February 22, 2008


"Hey babe I'm talkin' pig, oh honey can you dig?" - Southern Culture on the Skids - Too Much Pork for Just One Fork

Another Friday - Another pig.

This recipe is not out of laziness. Everybody knows how to make a BLT sammich. But its the quality of the bacon that counts.

Neuske's applewood smoked bacon is about the best in the world. Most, high-end, specialty groceries will carry it. It is expensive, but if you can find tastier pig than this at a better price, leave a comment below.

Now the "A" is for avocado. Just a few thin slices will do. For the "L" part, try some mixed field greens. Serve on sourdough toast, say "Allahu Akbar" and enjoy.
Oh, one thing of great debate in a certain chatroom, that will remain anonymous, is between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. The former is tolerable and the latter is an abomination. Being the independent weirdo that I am known for, I say "neither!". Aioli is better, and here is how you make it:
three egg yolks
2 cloves fresh garlic
1 cup olive oil
water as needed to thin to desired consistency
2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
salt and pepper to taste
Toss everything but the olive oil in a food processor and give it a good whack. Then slowly drizzle the olive oil in (with the processor on) to emulsify. Voila! Aoili. For different zings, try adding fresh Italian flat leaf parsley or fresh basil. Beats the crap outta mayo or MW. This should be safe in your fridge for a few days. When some funky skin appears on top of it, time to toss it out and make more aioli.

Don't forget to save the bacon drippings. They are excellent for sauteing veggies, searing a roast, or any other savory dish you would normally use butter. I use the fat to saute my mirepoix for soups and a fantastic Bolognese pasta sauce.

Somewhat related: Are they going to give the kids "goat banks" now?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Lurking About

OK, took a while.

I love these people.

They aren't democrats, they aren't republicans. Most of them are not old enough to legally walk in a bar and buy a beer. They are sons, daughters, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles. They were not drafted. They do this out of love for us all.

Let them know that you care.


Alright! It is before 6 A.M. and I am gonna beat Neal Boortz to a story, ANY story, before he gets to his office.

O.K. It is now 5:42 A.M. and I am lurking about.

Columbia Universtity professor targeted because she is black........uh, no, maybe because you are stupid, lady. At least I hope that is your valid excuse. United in grief for diverse lives lost, well I guess if they were all honkies it wouldn't have made this morning's news. Next time a major tragedy happens, toss in a paisley midget so it is newsworthy. Cynthia McKinney lands on Martian moon, gets unbelievable cell phone bill for calling home (Jupiter), nah, I expected that. Angry women upset at yesterday's photo, oh please.

I woke up too early - dog is going nuts. See you in an hour or so.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

With Friends Like These......

Oh shit! Not again! For the sake of Allah, I cannot control these women! Grant me stones so I can throw these vile witches to hell!


Now THAT (above) is a Jihadi nightmare. Women, boobs, guns - oh the humanity! If they thought that Pvt. England was awful for stacking them in a pyramid, I would love every Muslim to have the opportunity of this crowd as his last sight on earth. Wait. I want to slather the sumbitches in lard first, then see this.


That men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!” - William Shakespeare

Today is so good, I am taking a shot from the two point line....

God save me from my friends - I can protect myself from my enemies.” - Proverb

Regarding yesterday's post, I contacted a misguided friend who is volunteering for Senator Barack "Che" Obama's campaign. She was appalled that whoever was in charge of campaign signs failed to use the "spell check" function on at least two, glaringly obvious occasions. In defense, she did mention they at least got three out of four words correct. With the lone vowels, after all, you have a one in five chance of getting it right. Bravo on the difficult word "have".

When I first saw this video, I thought it was a spoof.

Hold on to yer Grape Nuts......IT'S NOT!

Like, uh, ya know, for real.

Attention Senator McCain Headquarters: Stop wasting campaign funds on trying to make your candidate appear consistent, even-tempered or for that matter, sane. Invest it all in and start picking out the new curtains for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Don't get me wrong - I would love to meet this girl, uh, Tiffany, Crystal, Candy, Brittany, er, oh yeah, Amber. Wait, what was her name again? I am sure we would have a wonderful time, and it would most certainly not involve discussing Aristotelean philosophy or more plebian subjects like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. The Big Bang Theory would hopefully come up though. I can hear the shrieks from the radical feminazis now, and you rightfully should be angered - but not at me, otherwise you are just shooting the messenger.

I am a supporter of classical feminism, Planned Parenthood and numerous concerns of women of intellect. Ayn Rand is my heroine and my favorite author. From that, do not assume that I seek your approval, neither do I feel any need to qualify myself in any such category. My sister is an M.D. with twenty years' practice as a pediatrician. A century ago such an ambition, let alone reality, was almost impossible. True feminism was and still is a valid movement, but not organizations like The Castration Coalition (can anyone get me a hyperlink for their website?) or women such as Andrea Dworkin (one look at that and you can sympathize with her anger). Various feminist organizations have almost always aligned themselves with the Democrat Party. Right now, the silence is deafening (there have been over 5 million hits for Obama Girl - don't tell me this has gone unnoticed). This woman is hopping around like some pole-dancing twat of a sex kitten. Is this a protrayal of the modern woman that "progressives" are comfortable with? Well, Gloria Steinem did eventually get married (to a man), thereby ending the debate over fish and bicycles. I can tell you one thing for certain - if any Republican had such an endorsement, official or otherwise, the Democrats along with their fifth column, the fourth estate, would be howling chastity raped.

I have two quotes for today because here comes yet another "unexpected" voice of support for Barack Hussein Obama. Some sort of US-Islamic forum has voiced their support for the Illinois Senator. Just how some scantily clad, silcone stuffed bimbo and a bunch of mysogynistic theocrats make for good bedfellows is beyond me, but I did see an SUV with an Al Gore sticker on it years ago, so stranger things have happened. These people hate us for our mere existence, love our money, and are either actively trying to destroy us or conveniently ignoring every instance of aggression towards the West. I have yet to hear C.A.I.R. condemn ONE act of Islamic terrorism. Please inform me when and if this ever happens. But what the hell, they like Obama.

Maybe this "hope and change" theme of Obama is just a universal blanket for anything goes. He has yet to give details on one plank, let alone a platform on which he is running. Perhaps he might send some campaign staffers to Home Depot, get some lumber and throw SOMETHING together.

People hope for change for a lot of things. The Muslim world hopes that the United States changes into a nuclear wasteland. I hope for a change that Amber Lee Ettinger appears in my bedroom this evening.

Senator, tell her to remember to bring beer and pizza.

Blog note: As an update to the previous post, A Hard Pill to Swallow, it is interesting that both Air Canada and Cubana have a country buttload (or a heaping shitload - whatever is the greater numerical value) of flights to and from Havana and all points Canada. Can somebody please, please make me eat crow and give me one, just ONE Canadian that goes to Cuba for their healthcare needs. After all, Micheal Moore told us that Cuba has fantastic healthcare. As you will discover, the Cubana link takes a while to load - given the advanced telecommunications technology of two tin cans and a string in "socialist paradise".

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I Can't Make This Stuff Up

I just found this after posting today's entry. This is from an Obama rally. I will suggest the title "Dyslexics Untie for Omaba".

If you have a better idea, leave a comment. Meanwhile......
Politics is very much like taxes - everybody is against them, or everybody is for them as long as they don't apply to him” - Fiorello La Guardia

Short blog again. This article on the Commonwealth of Virginia says it all.

There is one thing I can add that produced many a guffaw at the hypocrisy of "progressives" (leftists no longer like being called 'liberals'; that's hate speech now, I guess) over the tax cuts for the "evil, putrid, vile rich" during the first Bush term. Every leftist celebrity, which means the overwhelming majority of the cult of narcissism, got on just about every afternoon television yackety-yack show to tell us all how much they a) thought George W Bush was stupid, b) also considered him an evil genious, c) thought these tax cuts were only for the "rich" and d) were going to show their compassion for the poor, pitiful poor by what charities they were going to give the sum and total of this hideous tax return to. Oprah, Rosie and company couldn't help but just fawn over what wonderful humanitarians these self-absorbed mental midgets were!

I had to point out two things of curiousity. First, if it were not for the unconscionable tax cuts, would they have denied these new-found charities the same contributions? Secondly, if the tax cuts are the root problem, then logically, they should not have shown their disdain with the idea by donating the funds to charities. Instead, to prove their point and retain some modicum of credibility and consistency of thought, they should have remitted the checks directly BACK to the U.S. Treasury department, since the theory behind their opposition is that the government knows better what to do with that money than the individuals who actually earned it.

I do not recall one of them returning the "undeserved" funds for which they felt so much guilt. But hey, it availed them the opportunity to look oh-so-generous and take a swipe at fiscal conservatism simultaneously.

And completely unrelated, aren't we all supposed to be poisoned with dangerous arsenic levels in our drinking water by now?

Monday, February 18, 2008

President's Day

"There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation of all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities." - Teddy Roosevelt

Hmm. A psychic president? One thing is for sure, if a president today, or any holder of elected office for that matter, uttered these words, impeachment proceedings and possible "hate crime" criminal action would ensue. Every victicrat in the nation would be marching, rioting and looting in the streets. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would immediately come to the rescue. Political experts such as Rosie O'Donnell, Barbara Streisand, Sean Penn and the Dixie Chicks would champion this cause celebre. It could very well be the end of Western civilization.

The insult to injury would be that it would only prove our 26th president correct.

During the door-to-door, federal government pester-thon known as the 2000 census, I responded to the questions that the government was legally entitled to know: Who am I and how many people reside in my household. When the poor census woman asked my ethnicity, I responded "Native-American". She asked, perplexedly, "Native-American?", apparently because I did not live in a teepee, own a casino, and my feather headress was off at the cleaners that day. I remarked with pride, "Yes - I was born in Louisville. What am I, a potted plant?" and shut the door.

Names are everything on the passing scene. Although we are supposed to be a nation of equal justice under the law, put some discriminating adjective followed by a hyphen and suddenly you are more equal than others. This is seldom done out of pride of one's lineage, but more often to denote some sort of victimized status to rally around and garner sympathy from the political, media and fourth estate classes. The aforementioned foster the "soft bigotry of low expectations" out of "compassion", or so they say. In actuality, they are more prejudiced than the grand wizard insofar as referring to Barack Obama as "articulate" - how the hell is a Harvard educated man supposed to express himself? Grunts, shrieks and vulgar hand gestures? You would think that the Illinois senator was an anomaly like a kangaroo with a PhD in differential calculus.

Hyphenated Americanism has it's advantages. If you qualify, you are automatically afforded two avenues of privelige both socially and legally. First, like the rest of us less fortunate, unhyphenated slobs, you can take the route of being an individual with the same rights as everybody else. When that doesn't work, you can trump everything with your group identity. Muslim immigrants in Europe have picked up on this quickly, and are following in the United States. When they don't get their way, the results are often lethal.

It seems to be infectious even by those who see it's stupidity and danger. Even though postings to this blog can be anonymous, nobody has yet to respond with a hilarious scenario to the murder in Houston. We are tripping over ourselves not to offended the "sensitivities" of basically groups of people that hate the rest of us anyway. This political correctness nonsense will eventually get us all killed and/or be the end of the most advanced culture in history.

Now go report me for a "hate crime" and petition the government to chisel Roosevelt off the face of Mount Rushmore, lest someone be "offended".

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Buying a Stairway to Heaven

If you have a particular faith or religion, that is good. But you can survive without it.” - The Dalai Lama

OK. It's Sunday again, and the category is weirdness among "christians" (I use quotations out of intent and for good reason). I happen to be a Christian, not that its anybody's business, but a heap of people out there seem to have this insatiable need to make their business mine, so it's only polite that I reciprocate out of good manners.

There are a groups out there that are impervious to logic; among them are global warming cultists, The Flat Earth Society, people that buy Micheal Moore's horse squeeze, and religious zealots. You cannot reason with these people, and nothing makes them more hopping mad than ignoring them. However, I found a great deal. For $600 you can bother the crap out of people and have the certification to show it.

The Way of the Master, in just three days, promises to instruct you how to "seek and save the lost the way Jesus did." Airfare is not included, but the hotel is (I guess they want all students of salvation staying in one place, just in case ol' Scratch comes around). Upon closer examination, a lot of time is spent on "street evangelism and open-air preaching". I don't know about you, but in any major city it is not hard to find "street evangelists" out making fools of themselves and disturbing what is left of the peace. I am willing to bet the rent that the overwhelming majority of them did not have to spend six hundred bucks to do it either. The First Amendment guarantees them all the credentials necessary for this profession. If your really want to see "street evangelism" en masse, just wait until the next Harry Potter book comes out or Marilyn Manson comes to town. You will get "evangelized" whether you like it or not.

Jesus Christ is about the most famous person ever in history. Considering the man only spent three of his thirty-three years on earth in his ministry, that is not small communion wafers. If Muslims wouldn't get so worked up over images of Mohammed and let people actually have a face to go with the name, perhaps their advertising campaign would be more successful. At least they wouldn't have to threaten people with death in order to convert them.

What gets me is the six hundred bucks. Jesus convinced twelve people not only to drop everything they were doing, but to follow him around for FREE. That was one heck of a sales pitch. I must also say it remains successful 2000 years later. I happen to be a customer. Alright, maybe not the best customer, since I am Episcopalian. I was only made aware of this while minding my own business outside, you guessed it, a rock concert (Nine Inch Nails in particular) and wearing a tee shirt with the Episcopalian shield on it. There must have been some defect in the printing of this particular shield, since it failed to protect me from being accosted by a "street evangelist" overly concerned about the condition of my salvation. "You know you goin' to 'hale' if you keep goin' to that fag church.", the fellow said. I looked at him after a pregnant pause and responded "May the Lord be with you too", and walked away amidst the screechings of many a chapter and verse from this guy.

Jesus hung out with prostitutes, thieves (tax collectors), women (gasp) and the poor. I don't think I have the patience or the stomach for an IRS agent, but since I am doomed to hell eternal for being Episcopalian, I guess I will hang out with other people on their way there too, even if it means having to change flights in Atlanta. Better than going to a Heaven crowded with people like this.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Saturday Night Special

Poverty may be the mother of crime, but lack of good sense is the father” - Jean de la Bruyere

Houston, we have a problem.

If you think New Orleans is tired of crime, Houston has a case of insomnia from it. Given the cities' close proximity to each other, Houston took in a lot of Katrina refugees, and got a whole lot more than they bargained for. Since no good deed goes unpunished, now many of their "guests" have long overstayed their welcome, and they refuse to leave, among refusing to do a lot of other things. As opposed to their former haunts in the Crescent City (which is being rebuilt so they can tear it up all over again), Houston must have a lot of low hanging fruit.

So here is just one of last night's free-for-alls in Houston. Instead of waxing poetically on this story, I think some creative writing by the readers is in order. Your theories should include the following:

1. What were Cedric and Maxie doing up at 3 a.m.?

2. Just exactly what was their relationship? Business, friends, relatives, acquaintances, enemies, members of the Rotary Club, complete strangers?

3. What egregious transgression prompted Cedric to whack Maxie?

4. How more leftist handgun control laws could prevent something like this from happening in the future.

5. And finally, make up some politically correct excuse that exonerates Cedric as the real victim of this and somehow blame it on the Bush administration - George W. is from Texas too, after all.

All entries will be evaluated by next Saturday, along with another interesting case for us to noodle out. Until then, go to bed at a decent hour, and don't get shot.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Dim Sum-Thing

"So when I do Chinese cooking, I mix everything together, then the kids have to eat their vegetables. They won't have the patience to pick them out." - Martin Yan

As promised, more pig! Everybody run to the top of the minarets and warble through a bullhorn some incomprehensible crap that makes people get on all fours and sniff the dirt. Mohammed and Allah like this, for some strange reason. Perhaps they are curious as to you wiping your ass with your bare hand - five frickin times a day, just to make sure.

So why Asian food today? Simple. The pseudo-commies currently running China are more than happy to sell military equipment to radical Islamobastards. They are having a hard enough time pronouncing "Arrahu Akrahcckkkptioouie-bar", so you should return in kind with "cook my dog". Therefore, to be non-offensive, multi-cultural, and above all, politically correct, I think Chinese food is perfect for today. Especially when made with PORK!

Now let's get one thing straight. No more measurements from now on. I operate on the assumption that readers of this blog have an intellectual edge over a grapefruit, thus the ability to figure out how much of this and that. If I tell you to add "some salt" and you use the contents of a cement mixer, then please just go to and stop this dangerous taxing of your precious intellect. The older I get, the more I find that common sense is really not that common at all, so that is pretty much my legal disclaimer for a bad meal. Give a ringy dingy to all your urban turban friends and lets have some........

Nam Sod! (Yes; there will be pig).

Wonderfully simple to make, yet full of the contrasting and complementing flavors and colors typical of Asian cuisine. Serve warm or at room temperature with lettuce or cabbage leaves. You can also use spring roll wrappers or fry this mixture in wontons.

lean ground pork
2 or 3 small "fingers" of fresh young ginger, peeled and slivered
red onion, very thinly sliced
green onions, finely chopped
Thai chiles, same deal
fish sauce
fresh squeezed lime juice
small bunch of cilantro leaves, roughly chopped

If this is too difficult, just walk into an Asian market and say "Nam Sod" and hand the shopkeeper a basket - he or she will magically procure these things for you, regardless if they speak a word of English.

Blanch the pork in a small amount of water over medium-low heat just until no more pink shows; do not overcook the meat or it will be tough. Drain pork and toss with the red onion, chiles, ginger, green onions, fish sauce and lime juice; let the mixture sit for a few minutes so the flavors meld and the onions begin to soften. Shortly before serving, add the cilantro.

So there you have it. For added effect, have 72 virgins serve the meal.

Later peeps.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Res Ipsa Loquitor

“Brilliance is typically the act of an individual, but incredible stupidity can usually be traced to an organization” - John Bentley

I think I will just shut up today and let this link do the show and tell. Pardon the advertisement, it is only 15 seconds. And remember to get any recipe requests in for tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A Hard Pill To Swallow

"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die" - Author Unknown

As posted to the right, I am an insurance agent and broker. If you think you can't stand insurance companies, I loathe them. It's not as if I work for a salary. We work strictly commission. Agents and brokers bust their butts to sell products that customers need but hate to pay for. Their animosity is almost always directed at the agent, as if he or she not only computed the premium schedule but made up the policy itself right in their driveway. Insurance companies are in the business mainly of screwing everybody but the insurance company. They screw their agents just for fun, doctors when they can, and policyholders when they are pretty sure they can get away with it. I have had the marvelous opportunity to see and experience all of the above. They are bastards no doubt, and every dealing with them leaves me with the dizzy question "Hey, next time you do that, don't you think it would be nice to kiss me first?"

Healthcare is all the rage in every election. Democrats want us all to have "free" healthcare, which of course will be paid for by the putrid, vile, hated and filthy "rich". Republicans frankly don't have much of a clue as to what to do about it, but at least they realize that socialized medicine is a disaster in almost every country it has been tried. Attorneys like "Mr. Two Americas" John Edwards are primarily responsible for skyrocketing healthcare costs resulting from frivolous malpractice lawsuits with enormous punitive damages awarded by juries with extra chromosomes.

Enter Blue Cross and Blue Shield of California. Here is one article from the decidedly conservative Wall Street Journal. I can see their point, but the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement is nothing to be messed with. Patients, out of fear of losing their coverage, may not tell their physicians about certain conditions that could make a bad situation even worse, and thus, more expensive in the long run. And what is with yanking the doctors' short and curlies financially to get them to rat on their patients? Also, I always thought that WSJ readers were a bright and educated lot. Read their responses. I never expected to see THEM of all people clammoring for "universal healthcare."

Now here is an article from the Marxist camp over at CBS. This character talks about bloated administrative costs in private insurance companies - just what in the hell does he think government has done with every single program it operates? And what happens if we don't like the results from government controlled healthcare? At least the insurance companies don't have guns and jails to compel us to buy their products! Micheal Moore must be giggling right now (no, am not linking to him or any of his DVDs or books, just the thought of that bloated huxter makes ME want to see a physician). His intentionally, highly inaccurate film Sicko made Cuba look as the tropical paradise of healthcare. What he conveniently forgot to mention was that the facilities he visited were all reserved exclusively for the elite in the ruling party of Cuba, which would be Fidel and his commrades the "communists" (I put that in quotes because if they were true communists, they would all be equally miserable as a matter of definition and philosophy). Also, Cuba quarrantines anybody diagnosed with HIV, which is the first disease in the world to have its own political agenda. Liberals should look into this. Meanwhile, check out this trailer for Sick and Sicker, which might be just a tad more close to the truth about the bliss of socialized medicine.

My father was a man of quick wit and the master of the one-off. While stopped at an intersection on our way to church, the most crammed-full-of-family station wagon went directly across the our field of vision. There were kids of all ages, with noses and cheeks pressed up against the windows, and the father was driving with his seat as far up as it would go, chin on the steering wheel and forehead to the windshield. As we all stared in amazement as this Vatican Poster Family drove by, my father broke the silence by saying "Careful there fella. You almost screwed yourself out of a seat!" Dittos for BC/BS of California. Whatever savings this might bring in the short run could sound the death knell for private insurers in this country, and Blue Cross is no exemption. Our healthcare system is not great, but it still is among the best in the world. We have generations of people who think they are entitled to anything and everything, not the least of which is "free" medical care. They are not only ignorant as to the consequences of this, but they really don't give a damn since the bad stuff, in their feeble minds, will most likely happen to somebody else.

The Canadians thought that too. Now only their evil, putrid and hated "rich" can cross their southern border to get decent healthcare that is obviously unavailable in their own country.

Blog note: A rather interesting snippet from Logan Darrow supporting the previous post "The Drug War" is here.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Republica del Norte

"The Democratic Party looks at massive immigration, legal and illegal, as a source of voters. The Republican Party looks at massive immigration, legal and illegal, as a source of cheap labor, satisfying a very important constituency." - Tom Tancredo

Go here, here and here.

Now clean up whatever you barfed.

Neal Boortz and others have picked up on this today. We are in for some, as the Democrat candidates love to say, "change". I am not sure if it will be to our benefit or demise as a society and as a nation.

To be fair, we are a nation of immigrants. Even "Native-Americans" (Injuns) are descendents of immigrants that crossed the Siberia-Alaskan land bridge millions of years ago. So far, there is nothing in the fossil record that indicates that homo sapiens appeared in the western hemisphere out of nowhere. The best theory at this point is that we originated somewhere in Africa. Things got crowded, and the more curious among us packed up our stuff and headed out eventually to six of seven continents (actually all seven, since there is a cozy international, scientific research camp in Anarctica).

I am not a racist, but equally offensive to the P.C. leftists, I am a culturalist. The particular culture I consider superior is that of the West. For this I make absolutely no apologies. Were it not for the great minds in Europe and North America and the scientific discoveries applied to technological innovation, the world would be far less advanced than it is today. Some Luddites may argue that this is exactly why we are in the current quandry of the times. However, it is beyond argument, perhaps axiomatic that the more technologically advanced the culture, the greater the amount of immigration. You don't see a whole lot of people packing their bags and going to the opulence of the Middle East, most of Africa or the Balkans. A technologically advanced society avails, among other things, jobs. Furthermore, it offers a better lifestyle and standard of living. I don't blame people for wanting to emmigrate to the West - I see it as admiration for what we have accomplished.

However, culturalist that I am, in North America and Western Europe, the bulk of the immigrants have no desire to assimilate with the indigenous societies. In Europe, the aim is to outright take over the current culture and replace it with Islamic barbarism. European governments are not only ignoring this serious problem, they are doing everything possible to kiss Muslim ass. Even the crazy Archbishop of the Anglican Church is on the side of the camel turds.

While "Eurabia" has it's own problems to deal with, Mexico is invading the United States. We are not getting Mexican scientists, physicians, professors and entrepreneurs - we are getting uneducated and unskilled people who are draining the already miserable failures of our welfare state and LBJ's "great society". If the projections in the articles above are correct, the economic ramifications of this will prove unbearable. Now the Bush administration wants to give $1.3 billion to Mexico and Central America? What!?

Any sane and rational administration would use OUR money to build the fence across our southern border and beef up our border patrol. I have no idea what the ill-defined role of the Immigration and Naturalization Service is anymore, nor the justification for their multi-billion dollar budget.

I will be 81 years old by the time these predictions, if accurate, come to reality. If this crystal ball bears any merit, I hope my ashes will have long been thrown to the winds.

Monday, February 11, 2008

The Drug War

"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." -P. J. O'Rourke

I was hoping, yes, and even praying I would not succumb to this year's influenza strain. Well, that is exactly why I am so late today in posting. Everything I have hurts, including my beard. I am feeling kinda loopy from a low grade fever, and I have this strange, foul taste in my mouth. In short, I feel like crap. My sister, a physician, was kind enough to give me some Tamiflu samples and is on the way over to drop them off. It is rather nice to have a doctor in your immediate family, otherwise I would have to go to my general practitioner, give him a copay, sit in the waiting room for God only knows how long, and then have to pay a small fortune for a patented med. This got me thinking about perhaps the second stupidest idea our elected officials have come up with. They apparently learned nothing from alcohol prohibition. I am talking about this retarded drug war and its consequences.

Having some experience with medicine (some medical school and coming from a family of physicians) I went to the website for this medication and peeked at the physician's info sheet. This drug does have a few side effects, but nothing that will send you to the E.R. or the grave. I don't mind the expense of it (after all, the pharmaceutical companies are not in that business primarily for charitable purposes - it costs hundred of millions to get a drug to market - and patent laws give a very short period to recoup the costs of R&D), I just loathe the inconvenience. It doesn't take a vet to recognize a horse, and I am well aware I have all the symptoms of a viral infection. In a rational world, I could just go to the drug store or grocery, pick this stuff up and go about my business, instead of ruining the whole goddam day in pursuit of some relief. The FDA says otherwise. I think the first class in medical school should be "MD 101 - Why the government, politicians and attorneys will always know way more about the practice of medicine that you ever will."

The RAND institute, an non-profit policy research center, has long been researching the drug war from an objective standpoint. They are not some "legalize pot" bunch of hippies. Nowhere in that site will you find anyone saying that illicit drug use is beneficial. What you will find is the staggering amount of your money that state, local and federal government wastes on a war that cannot be won.

American society has become more punitive and puritanical as time goes on. Most of us are not really aware of the pharmacology of scheduled substances, especially those in the C1 class. It is true that some of these are outright dangerous, but should it not be your choice what you put in your body and what you don't? After all, who owns you; you or the government? Some substances on this list, such as ibogaine, can actually help stop drug and alcohol addictions. The only reason that I can conclude why it remains illegal in the United States is that the drug war zealots are afraid some patients might have a good time. Researchers are suggesting that MDMA (ecstasy) could prove beneficial in treating depression and post traumatic stress disorder. In Britain, the terminally ill patients are given heroin to alleviate pain. Sure, they might become addicted, but they are dying anyway - who cares?

A few years back, the state of California decriminalized cannibis and allowed physicians to prescribe it as they saw fit. Peter McWilliams, author of Ain't Nobody's Business if You Do - The Absurdity of Consensual Crime in a Free Society, certainly no fan of the big government or the war on drugs, and was diagnosed with cancer. Chemotherapy often produces nausea so severe, the patient cannot only eat, they are unable to swallow pills, thus Marinol is useless. He was brought to court in a wheelchair to contest the federal government telling California "no" to the idea that really sick people could smoke pot, even the terminally ill. The Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States is apparently usless these days. They succeeded in taking away Mr. McWilliam's marijuana, when soon afterward, he died by choking on his own vomit as a result of the nausea produced by other medications. I guess we showed him!

After reading several articles on the matter, I can conclude that the drug war has been successful in some areas. First, obviously, the drug traffickers. Our punitive drug laws have hyperinflated the cost of these substances and made millionaires, in some cases, billionaires out of some of the most filthy, rotten thugs on the planet. They are criminals, thus they have no regard for ANY laws. Furthermore, I am not aware of one drug user who ever considered "Gee, its illegal. I guess I won't do it then." Secondly, since the plurality of our prisoners are incarcerated for non-violent drug offenses, it costs money to keep 'em all locked up for their own safety (never mind that drugs are just as easy to get in prisons as they are on the street). Many prison "services" are handed out to private contractors, such as SODEXHO (a division of Marriott), that would suffer great financial loss if we were to treat this drug "problem" in an objective manner. Third, the legal industry is reliant upon defending offenders of our drug laws, at least those who can afford private counsel. The CATO Institute, a free-market, classical liberal think tank, has some interesting ideas, observations and statistics in this area.

Estimates of the drug war cost (in all areas) range from $40 billion to over $50 billion. It has been going on for decades. I would think with this price tag that the war would have been won long ago. There are those among us who consider government, not the individual, to be the final arbitrer in matters of personal morality. They would not in the least mind if all casual, weekend pot smokers were executed on sight. Government does one thing well, and that is waste money with reckless abandon. This drug war hysteria is a perfect vehicle for that, given a fearful, superstitious, uneducated and judgemental populace. Some, like Nicole Bush, are insulated from the consequences others of less affluence, such as Richard Paey, face for the same transgressions. Note that Bush and Paey live in the same state. Lenience and sympathy for one, the book thrown at the other.

Well, enough of this rant. Sis is here with my "dope". God have mercy on me if Tamiflu gives me a buzz.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Snake Handlin' Sunday

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

Since Friday is devoted to menu suggestions to the peaceful, tolerant, civilized and sophisticated religion of Islam, and I pride myself in being an equal opportunity offender, Sunday is going to be the special day that I give much desired attention to a crowd of lunatics who think they are the only "true" Christians. Not only are they confident in their own salvation, they are pretty damned sure the rest of us will burn eternal. The fundies are not completely sure that we are all going to hell, so friendly folks like Dr. Dobson, Donald E. Wildmon (who, in case you are interested, has discovered the homosexual agenda), and Jonathan Falwell would like to use the police power of government, our judicial and penal systems to either correct our errant behavior or punish us and punish us good. This must be some sort of a stop-gap measure just in the event God is not as pissed off at us heathens as they are. A redundancy of sorts, I guess.

Here is a lovely lady in a coffee house. Now, if this were your only encounter with Christianity, I bet you couldn't wait to sign up. I guess they call this "witnessing." She does at least have some umbrage with Mexican immigrants, hopefully the illegal variety. See, I can say something positive in almost any situation!

Now, down to some grabbing snakes. As if my home state cannot embarass itself enough, this from North Alabama (where else?). I gotta respect these folks, inasmuch as they capture their own snakes. Call it stupidity, call it courage - I call it bizarre. Now, for the more timid snake catcher (although they pretend to be tough guys), there is the Rattlesnake Rodeo, in, you guessed it, Alabama (good grief, do we ever get a break?). Notice the date - April. It is still fairly cool in early April, and the snakes are still half asleep. A motivated anorexic could hogtie the entire New England Patriot's defensive line as long as they were half asleep. Now, if they held it in mid-August, about the only people ballsy enough to go grab snakes are Navy SEALS and Airborne Rangers. Even they might question their superior officers as to the motives ond objectives behind such an operation. But there are two upshots to this: They have a beauty pageant (Miss Rattlesnake Rodeo), and the event (harassing sleepy snakes - not the pageant; the feminazis get worked up over that) makes PETA's tofu curdle. The PETA nuts protest until somebody throws a live rattlesnake at them, then they go bother some local cattle farmer or chicken coop.

Next week: Epilepsy or Speaking in Tongues?

Blog note: I have revised the hyperlinks that were inaccessible in previous posts. They should now be fully functional.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Brain fart

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day. Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way." - Pink Floyd

I have been scratching my head trying to come up with something for saturday - so far, nothing.

The Archbishop of my church has proven himself not only to be a booger-eating liberal, but senile as well. Dr. Rowan Williams should resign and live out the remainder of his days at Trembling Hills Convalescent Center. I sure hope the last true Briton remembers to bring the Union Jack when they leave. Goddam Muslims, they are akin to a rodent infestation. How long before we face the same?

In other news, Iran, which previously claimed it was testing that rocket for a communications satellite (just how stupid do they think the world is?), our buddies in France say it is definitely a weapons delivery system. Well big whoopty DUH!. And, get this, the Ruskies have come to the same conclusion. Does anyone know that Russia is a provider of defense material and technology to Iran and has been for some time? Israel best shit or get off the pot regarding Achmadinnersalad else they become a glass parking lot. The current administration has no plans to help them, and the next administration would probably help with missle flight plans for those S.O.B.s.

Not much in a blogging mood today. If any readers have a theme for saturdays, feel free to comment. Also, let me know how the grilled pork tenderloin turned out.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Friday's recipe

"Pork fat rules!" - Emeril Lagasse

As a regular feature of this column/blog, Friday will always be recipe day. Since Friday is particularly important to Muslims, out of compassion, multicultural sensitivity and good ole American generousity, every recipe will involve...........THE PIG!

Among livestock, it is a shame that pigs are the most intelligent. But they are so damn delicious! Pork, as you will find, is very versatile. I could devote an entire blog to pork recipes alone and never run out of ideas. Mohammed can go screw himself and send me to Muslim hell for all I care - life just isn't worth living without bacon. To any Orthodox Jews out there, no offense intended. You guys may just want to skip Friday recipe day altogether. Without further adieu, let's dig with the pig.

From my culinary years, I learned that simplicity is always the best method. Going all out, in and under the kitchen counter is a waste of time. Usually this indicates there is something wrong with whatever you are cooking and it needs to be disguised. Hogwash! You can't polish a turd, and there is no use wasting time cooking substandard meat. For the best quality pork in the world, look no further than Neiman Ranch. If you happen to come back in the next life as a pig, this is the life you want. Unlike commercially raised pork, which are raised in confinement, these hogs are allowed to roam, root and do pretty much whatever they please until, well, you know. It's a bit more expensive, but the flavor and texture are superior. Plus, you can feel at ease knowing that your dinner lived le bon vie.

Brining pork adds even more tenderness. This simplest brining solution is 1/4 cup salt to one gallon of water. If you like, you can add FRESH herbs, garlic and whole peppercorns to the brine, but just don't overdo it. Remember, we want to taste the pork, not Simon and Garfunkel. Don't brine for more than 24 hours.

Here is a very simple marinade for your pig.

1/2 cup olive oil (regular, or pommace olive oil will do)
2 Tbsp fresh minced garlic
2 Tbsp fresh cracked black pepper
1-2 Tbsp each fresh chopped Italian parsely, fresh thyme, and maybe fresh oregano

This should be sufficient for up to four tenderloins. Slather them good with this and let them sit for 2 hours at room temp, or overnight in the fridge.

Start up a good hickory fire on your grill. The hotter the better. Now is the time to drizzle some soy sauce and Worcestershire on your pork. In general, you do not want to use salts or acids on your meat of any variety until right before cooking, since salts and acids actually "cook" the meat, which will make it tough. Grill the tenderloins on all sides, flipping about every minute or two until the internal temperature reaches 145 degrees. Now before you shout "trichinosis", don't worry. There has not been a documented case of trichinosis that originated in the United States for decades, because it is illegal here to slop hogs for commercial sale. If anyone gets that bugaboo, they got it in another country. Remove from grill, place in a pan or a baking sheet and tent with aluminum foil. Allow the meat to "rest" for about ten minutes - the residual heat will continue to cook it. Slice thinly. Four tenderloins should serve eight very hungry people, and give you some leftovers for sammies the next day.

Hope this gets your tummy growling, and feel free to send any recipe requests for the beloved pig my way and I will be happy to do my best to accomodate.

Bon Appetit!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Dr. Dobson threatens again

"Most people can't think, most of the remainder won't think, the small fraction who do think mostly can't do it very well. The extremely tiny fraction who think regularly, accurately, creatively, and without self-delusion- in the long run, these are the only people who count." - Robert Heinlein

Although I was barely ten at the time, I remember the arrival of the religious right into the Republican Party amidst much of their own fanfare. It must have been late 1979 or thereabouts. Carter had the economy in the shitter and his solution to the Iran hostage crisis was to lock himself in the White House to protest the matter until the rag heads played nicey nice and freed our embassy staff. Both major political parties then bore little resemblance of what they are now. Democrats were more like modern day Republicans, and Republicans were, well, actual Republicans. By this I mean Democrats were screwing things up out of ignorance and by accident instead of intentionally, and Republicans were focused on issues that were important like limited government, fiscal constraint and strong foreign policy. Many people in the South still held a lingering bitterness towards all things Yankee, and most voted Democrat because Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. We were yayhoos alright, with "dry" counties and Sunday "blue laws" that totally perplexed any Northerner who happened to pass through via the interstate on the way to Florida. In a pecan shell, the South was an anathema to sophistication and logical thought. This region was viewed, and correctly so, as a bunch of uneducated, Bible-banging rubes best to be avoided unless absolutely necessary.

I grew up in an affluent household. My father was a physician, WWII veteran and very experienced pilot. We owned our own plane, lived in a magnificent home, belonged to the local country club and took exotic vacations. Same for my neighborhood friends. I attended government school until the eighth grade and remember the classroom "presidential elections" every four years, which merely reflected how the children's parents intended to vote. The more educated and successful the parents, the almost certainty they supported the Republican candidate. The children from middle and lower income households always "voted" for the Democrat. Therefore, in my childhood mind, the Republican Party was one of sophistication, success and high achievement; the Democrat party was that of the opposite. In short, my friends and I considered William F. Buckley to be more representative of the average Republican.

Then came Jerry Fallwell.

Before I continue, since this blog is in its infancy, this is not a daily screed against the religious right. It just so happens that this news issue came across my radar screen. James Dobson, founder and maximum dingaling of Focus on the Family, is threatening to pout and stay home if Senator John McCain gets the GOP nomination.

FANTASTIC! I hope he and his followers make good on this threat. Furthermore, I wish they would stay home not only for this election, but for every subsequent one. Many conservatives are more than tired of the Republican Party kissing the sanctimonious butts of the religious right. It can be argued that this element of the party alienates more voters than it attracts, and the media is more than willing, even joyful, in painting us all with this brush. The "fundies", as many refer to them, will tell you with absolute certainty that were it not for them, Reagan would never have been our president. Sorry, but even a semi-retarded gorilla could have defeated Jimmy Carter in 1980.

Conservatives lose a lot of support because of this crowd, mainly from successful, young, single women. They are not thrilled with the Democrats taxing the bejesus out of them, but they are equally not excited about the government controlling their reproductive lives. What good haranguing homosexuals will accomplish is beyond me, since as a demographic, not to mention the fundamental laws of biology, gays and lesbians seldom produce offspring and therefore have a lot more discretionary income. It only seems reasonable that they would like to keep it rather than the Democrats spending it on disastrous social programs and a laundry list of other ways to throw away their hard earned money. The prayer in government school issue is beyond ignorant - public schools are cramming P.C. crap in our kids' heads, failing to equip them for a competitive job marketplace, and people think it’s a great idea to have them get into their spiritual lives as well? The notion that a significant number of voters consider these things paramount over issues economic and foreign policy is stupefying to say the least. Dr. Dobson would do well to give a call to Pat Robertson a call to discover that this country is at war with an enemy that is ruthless, unconventional, and cares not if they live or die in their irrational goal to make Islam the law of the land, if not the entire world. Upon examination, Islam is more in line policy-wise with Dobson, insofar as they consider women to be less than human, they execute homosexuals for merely existing, and their "education" consists mainly of memorizing a religious text. Just replace the Koran with the Bible and the enemy offers everything James Dobson hopes for.

I am no fan of Sen. McCain. This is about the lousiest choice for conservatives in history. However, Hillary is unpredictable at best, and Obama is an outright disaster. I don't think conservatives are voting FOR anyone now, but AGAINST almost certain damage to our way of life that may prove irreparable. Maybe we can survive two years under the Hildebeast before another "voter revolution" like in 1994.There is no chance now to have Rudy kick the collective butts of Muslims right up into their turbans, but, Dr. Dobson, if you and your sycophants stay home this year, and every year afterward, perhaps the Republican party can rid itself of your albatross and regain the image of fiscal responsibility, sound foreign policy, and above all, intelligence. While you are all staying home and pouting, you might focus on your own damn families instead of everyone else's.

Since the Libertarian Party has gone off the deep end, there is still one glimmer of hope with the Republican Liberty Caucus. Check them out.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Respect my religion, or else.......

"We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart." - H.L. Mencken

Well, despite the best efforts of myself and other conservatives, Obama still won Alabamastan. I tried, so that's that.

The Muslims have their collective turbans in a wad (like this is something new) over another perceived threat to all things Islam. This time they are raising Ghenna with Wikipedia over some artists' renditions of Mohammed that appear, surprise, under the definition of Mohammed. The camel turds take this very seriously, and have previously killed over a cartoon of their "prophet". Such a peaceful, serene and tolerant folk. To further what wonderful people they are, two sisters in Iran were found in public without their husbands, which in the minds of the imams, accounts to nothing less than adultery. They will be stoned to death for this egregious transgression against Allah. One of their husbands turned them in with video evidence! Where in the world is Amnesty International and N.O.W.? Oh, forgot, the current administration is actually doing something about these crazy bastards, it is a Republican administration, thus it is no longer fashionably "progressive" to have concerns about women's rights in the hell known as the Middle East. Silly me.

Wiki is defending its decision not to remove the images. Furthermore, for some odd reason, Wiki has to explain to these bloodthirsty numbskulls that it is a secular business endeavor, and not subject to Sharia law. There is no distinction between secular and sacred under Islam; it is as foreign a concept to them as peanut butter without peanuts would be to any westerner. They seem to have no allegiance to any particular nation, but total submission to Islam (which, by the way, literally translates as "submission"). Yet these people consider themselves to be the most advanced and sophisticated culture on the face of the earth - just ask one of them (right before he detonates his suicide bomb or decapitates you with a dull machete).

Never missing an opportunity to enrage a theocrat, or in this case a group of them, I posted the following at Wikipedia:

Well, shit! It was removed. Wiki is not as "tolerant" as I thought. Anyway, the jist of my post was essentially that the peace loving, serene religion of Islam would do far better than worrying over somebody posting pictures of Mohammed and focus on things such as abandoning the practice of wiping their asses with their bare hands and discovering the miracle of toilet paper, bathing more often, and using deoderant. Perhaps not P.C. enough for Wiki. Oh well.

Those who know me well are aware I pull no punches when it comes to theocracy of any flavor. Many evangelical "Christians" see no parallel between themselves and the Jihadis. There are obvious and glaring differences, mainly that evangelicals usually won't blow you up just because you think they are full of it (with the exception of Eric Robert Rudolph and his ilk), they seem to assimilate well with other cultures, and in general they smell a whole lot better than your garden variety Muslim. Very few of them kill their wives and daughters for frivolous accusations of "adultery." However, circa 1980, they hopped in bed with the GOP, giving the media carte blanche to paint ALL conservatives as a bunch of slack-jawed, speaking-in-tongues, snake-handling yayhoos. Even Rush Limbaugh speaks with disdain for the "Country Club Republican" as though they are some useless relic of the past (useless, with exception to their campaign donations that is). Point is that a certain group of the evangelicals are no different than the Jihadis in the aspect that both seek to have their religion codified into law.

Technically speaking, I am a baptized and confirmed Episcopalian ("fag church" according to learned evangelicals and pentecostals - therefore non-Christian de facto), but I consider myself more "spiritual" than "religious". I have no interest whatsoever in weaving my faith with government, and I sure as hell don't want government barging in on my faith. I consider one of the most unique concepts in the world at the time is our constitutional distinction between religion and state. So important was this idea that it is in the very first amendment to perhaps the greatest document in the world. This was pretty radical stuff in the 18th century. But just like anything else, it has two sides to it. While it asserts that we all have the freedom to worship as we please without interference from the state, it also means that regardless of what marvelous or malevolent intentions we may have, we cannot cram our spiritual beliefs down other people's throats by force of the law.

Now, to my evangelical friends (yes, I have evangelical friends, and an evangelical aunt whom I love and respect dearly), I am not painting you all as a bunch of clinic bombing, snake handling mongoloids. One of the most recognized and accomplished evangelicals, Pat Robertson, can see the forest through the trees. Rudy Giulliani and Robertson could not be further apart on domestic and social issues, but had common ground on perhaps the greatest threat this country has faced: Radical Islam. So concerned about this, Robertson decided to support Rudy for the 2008 race. He is an intelligent, rational man with the ability to place things in matters of priority. Sadly, Rudy is out of the race (thus no visit to Terhan by a bunch of goombas to let Achmadinnersalad know we are serious about his atomic toys, and to prove it, cut off his right thumb and leave a sheep's head in his boudoir).

Anyway, I can't spend all day doing this. The puppy (Cato - a 4 month old Bichon named for Inspector Cleuseau's Asian houseboy) needs to go to the groomer, I need more coffee, and I have to go to work.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Morbidly Obese Tuesday

I need a shower, perhaps a flea dip. Today I felt compelled to do something that made my stomach churn and nostrils cringe. If I believed in a capricious and vengeful God, I would be on my knees at the nearest church or synagogue. However, somebody has to take a hit for Team Liberty. That someone is me.

In today's primary, I voted for the Hildebeast.

I received scorn from both my leftist moonbat and conservative friends. First with the moonbats.

Since Obama is the new media darling, therefore the only qualification needed to become leader of the free world, or what remains of it, I should have cast my vote for him. I think Obama will do more than fine without my support. Myrmidons they are, many on the left have seemed to have lost their love and admiration for Hilly, with the exception of the female college student, The Vagina Monologues crowd (who wants her canonized), and people who want to have the State of the Union Address screeched to them (the 'gimme geezers').

My right-wing friends think I am a Benedict Arnold. Apparently I am supposed to always vote Republican, even if the only candidate is Torquemada (actually, if Torq were an evangelical, they would probably vote for him too. Gary Bauer comes to mind). I constantly have to remind some of them that I am not a Republican, but a Libertarian. This is sometimes met with the brilliant, persuasive strategy of "Libertarians are stupid (meaning your's truly, obviously). Vote for us" (wait, you just called me "stupid". Why should I vote with you guys? Furthermore, do you really want people considered "stupid" in agreement with you?).

I live in Alabamastan. People are not to easily convinced by logic and fact 'round these parts, but get out a Bible or throw out some new social program, they go to the polls. The usual suspects are captured by each respectively. In general elections since Jimmy Carter, Republicans have always carried this ignoramus state's electral votes with no problem. Consider that this, after all, is only the primary. Furthermore, I don't see a dime's worth of difference between the GOP candidates. In November I will vote for whichever GOP candidate they throw up there, even if I have to shower again (hopefully I will have bathed at least a dozen times between now and then, otherwise people might confuse me with the French).

Obama scares the living shit outta me. Aside from his lack of experience and questionable heaping buttload of campaign contributions that just recently came in, he is a Marxist (read his autobiography, and take plenty of Pepto Bismol before doing so). He is also a "former" Muslim. Last I checked, a good many Muslims want to either take over the West or destroy it entirely. Once a Muslim, always a Muslim. The overwhelming majority of the black vote in this state is going to Obama for no other reason than he is half-black. So, by holding my nose and voting for the Hildebeast, and hopefully others are doing the same, we can keep this Trojan Horse from Mecca away from the Oval Office. Furthermore, Hildebeast is vulnerable to defeat while I am not so sure about Obama. Even if Hilly does win, within two years the house and senate will be so overwhelmed with Republicans she will cry on a daily basis; not just for camera crews at politically opportune moments.

So with that unpleasantry out of the way, I can now return to work.