Friday, February 15, 2008

Dim Sum-Thing

"So when I do Chinese cooking, I mix everything together, then the kids have to eat their vegetables. They won't have the patience to pick them out." - Martin Yan

As promised, more pig! Everybody run to the top of the minarets and warble through a bullhorn some incomprehensible crap that makes people get on all fours and sniff the dirt. Mohammed and Allah like this, for some strange reason. Perhaps they are curious as to you wiping your ass with your bare hand - five frickin times a day, just to make sure.

So why Asian food today? Simple. The pseudo-commies currently running China are more than happy to sell military equipment to radical Islamobastards. They are having a hard enough time pronouncing "Arrahu Akrahcckkkptioouie-bar", so you should return in kind with "cook my dog". Therefore, to be non-offensive, multi-cultural, and above all, politically correct, I think Chinese food is perfect for today. Especially when made with PORK!

Now let's get one thing straight. No more measurements from now on. I operate on the assumption that readers of this blog have an intellectual edge over a grapefruit, thus the ability to figure out how much of this and that. If I tell you to add "some salt" and you use the contents of a cement mixer, then please just go to and stop this dangerous taxing of your precious intellect. The older I get, the more I find that common sense is really not that common at all, so that is pretty much my legal disclaimer for a bad meal. Give a ringy dingy to all your urban turban friends and lets have some........

Nam Sod! (Yes; there will be pig).

Wonderfully simple to make, yet full of the contrasting and complementing flavors and colors typical of Asian cuisine. Serve warm or at room temperature with lettuce or cabbage leaves. You can also use spring roll wrappers or fry this mixture in wontons.

lean ground pork
2 or 3 small "fingers" of fresh young ginger, peeled and slivered
red onion, very thinly sliced
green onions, finely chopped
Thai chiles, same deal
fish sauce
fresh squeezed lime juice
small bunch of cilantro leaves, roughly chopped

If this is too difficult, just walk into an Asian market and say "Nam Sod" and hand the shopkeeper a basket - he or she will magically procure these things for you, regardless if they speak a word of English.

Blanch the pork in a small amount of water over medium-low heat just until no more pink shows; do not overcook the meat or it will be tough. Drain pork and toss with the red onion, chiles, ginger, green onions, fish sauce and lime juice; let the mixture sit for a few minutes so the flavors meld and the onions begin to soften. Shortly before serving, add the cilantro.

So there you have it. For added effect, have 72 virgins serve the meal.

Later peeps.

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